BANGKOK, PART ONE

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Although we had stopped in Bangkok for a couple of nights prior to flying to Hong Kong, we had stopped in the Central Business District.  We spent one more night there, before checking out and moving to Silom Road, where the infamous Patpong is located.

The first day we just wandered around, getting used to the humidity, well putting up with the humidity, and checking out local eateries, etc.  One particularly good place we found was Silom Village.  Here they have various different restaurants, shops and if you eat at the central restaurant you even get a free cultural dance and music show.  We ate several times here because the food was so good and the beer was pretty cheap if you bought it by the jug!

In between Silom Village and our hotel were dozens of little market stalls.  One guy who sold fresh Thai pineapple by the bagful for twenty baht (thirty pence) made a fortune out of us as we stopped almost everynight to get some.  Thai pineapples are smaller than the "normal" ones you see, the skin is more red and the fruit yellower.  The taste?  Well, the pineapple that Hosias picked us in the Amazon was definitely the juiciest we have ever eaten, but the flavour of these pineapples is delicious!

The other stall that we regularly stopped and browsed at was owned by a guy selling some really eye-catching photos of typical Thai people.  However, the reason we first stopped was to watch him making a dragon out of a single piece of rope.  Watching the detail of this dragon develop over the next few nights was intriguing, so much so that yes we bought it!  It will, when we finally have a home again, take pride of place somewhere prominent.

We foolishly made the mistake of booking a Thai Dinner and Cultural Show through our hotel.  They charged us double the actual cost of the dinner show, but it included transport to the venue.  The venue was Silom Village!  Our "driver" to the dinner turned up at the hotel and asked if we minded walking as it was..."Yes, we know where Silom Village is, we have eaten there the past two nights and paid half the cost we have done for this evening!"  Luckily for us at least it was in a different part of the village to where we had eaten previously and the show was spectacular.  We did mention to the Tour East Booking Agent the following day what had happened, but she obviously didn't care, well she had already got her money!  What she momentarily forgot was we had provisionally booked several, much more expensive, trips with her and so we nonchalantly cancelled them!  Doh!

One of the trips we had booked was to go to Damnoen Saduak Floating Market.  In the end we hired a car and driver who took us for slightly more than we would have paid to go on a group tour.  Luckily for us our driver, Montri, was what I would class as a typical Thai-lander.  Thailand is called the land/kingdom of smiles and if we were more like the Thai people I swear to goodness there would be less trouble in the world.  There are always exceptions, but the vast majority of people we have had the pleasure of meeting in Thailand are exceptionally polite, friendly, helpful and always smiling.  If I was to become actively religious then Buddhism would be on top of my religions to consider list, if Thai people are anything to go by.

Anyway, Montri drove us the hour and a half to Damnoen Saduak, but before we got there he pulled over and gave us a couple of options on how to get to the market.  One, which is what the group tours do, is to drive to the market and then wander around it, after which you are put into a canoe, six to eight people at a time, to paddle around the different stalls and canoes.  The other option was that he could take us to a village about half an hour down the canal from Damnoen Saduak where we could hire a long-tailed speedboat to get there, but seeing how the Thai people live along the river.  Then when we get to the market we can hire a canoe and/or wander around for as long as we like!

Although we paid for a car to take us to the market and had to pay for the cost of the speedboat, the idea of seeing something a little bit different really appealed and it was worth every penny.  Also, we had set off a couple of hours earlier than the bus tours so as to see the market in as non-touristic conditions as possible.  Seeing the network of tightly woven waterways that lead to the market was incredible.  We saw boats stocking up ready to head to the market, men swimming up to their necks in the water fishing with nets, people washing their clothes on the canal banks and numerous children playing in the water stopping only so they could wave, and of course beam a huge smile, at us as we passed.  All along the canal banks were ram-shackled, wooden homes on stilts, but every so often, set back from the canal, an elaborate, beautifully ornate temple would appear, even in the most remote parts of the countryside.

When we got to the market, Montri found a seat at a local cafe and told us to take our time and that he would be waiting for us.  His final piece of advice was that if we did hire a canoe for someone to paddle us around the market, "don't let them rip you off like tourists, don't pay more than two hundred baht!"  Due to the diversion to take the speedboat we only managed to walk around half the market before the first tour group appeared.  During that time, we stood on the bridge connecting the two sides of the village, gazing up and down river at the traders in their canoes.  We felt like we could have almost gone back to a time when they hadn't ever seen a tourist and this was how they conducted their lives, bartering with each other for the goods they needed.  The colours, smells and sounds of this place were amazing.

After we finished walking around the stalls along the banks of the market, we hired a canoe to paddle us around the waterways and amongst the market traders that were in canoes or had stalls facing the waters edge.  As we set off, just the two of us and our paddler, we overheard a lady say, "Why have they got a canoe all to themselves when there are six of us in this one?"  The response from her tour guide was, "They are probably not part of a tour group!"

The market-traders have hooks with which to pull you towards their stalls and canoes and you do spend a long time saying no thank you!  Sometimes you have to wonder how such a huge number of boats on such a narrow river all manage to navigate around each other!  However, the experience was incredible and one of the best things we managed to find at the market were freshly fried bananas in coconut!  The range of food was huge, but nowadays, with the amount of tourists that go to the market, the souvenir sellers far outweigh the food and produce sellers.

The night after we went to the floating market we headed down to Patpong.  For those of you who don't know what Patpong is about, let's just say if you ever get chatted up by a girl in Patpong you might want to apply the Crocodile Dundee handshake first!  As we stepped off the TucTuc we were immediately swamped with, "sex show, sir" offers from left, right and centre.  They have a huge market down the middle of Patpong, which helps pull in the tourists and as soon as you even glance at anyone they thrust a menu in your face offering everything from peep shows to ping-pong shows to, well, pretty much everything!

We managed to find a bar that we could see into and reckon it was the only bar on Patpong without naked lady-boys in!  So, after a couple of beers for courage we headed out again, but apart from browsing the market stalls we headed straight to the other end.  Here, we managed to find another bar packed with other people who didn't have the courage to go in the lady-boy bars!  We got chatting to some mad Icelanders and after several more beers we all decided that safety in numbers was to be our motto and we headed back into the heart of Patpong.  Ninna then got accosted by a lady who promptly led us up some stairs to see a ping-pong show!  The only advice I can give you is don't get your money out.  Ninna did and she was swamped, she even tried to pay one girl to leave her fella alone and that just brought more of them over.  Angela managed to perfect the get your body parts off my man look and therefore, apart from buying a couple of beers, it didn't cost us a penny!  Eventually, the attention the Icelanders were getting was so bad we just all basically held hands and marched towards were we thought the door was!  As far as the show goes, you wouldn't want to play table tennis with the ping-pong balls these "girls" have!  We managed to make our way to the first bar that Angela and myself had been to and proceeded to drink vast quantities of Thai beer until 3:00am!  The following day Angela slept, after throwing up for a couple of hours, all day!  Light-weight!

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