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Ok, get this! I can grow a bizarrely long nail, any
nail on either hand, specifically to insert as far up my nostrils as
possible and undertake exploratory surgery! I can then examine and chew
the findings of my fingers expedition in public! I can hack up, from the
bottom of my stomach, the biggest lump of snot possible, chew it for a
moment, then spit it on the ground, inside or out! I can spit food out I
don't like directly onto the table in a restaurant! I can stop, look a
lady up and down, paying particular attention to the boobs! I also don't
have to queue, but instead use my elbows as spears to jab you out the way
so I can push in front of you.
And not offend anyone!
However, if I lick my fingers after eating juicy ribs,
or put my chopsticks on top of my rice bowl, World War III is declared!
What a great place though, we spent eight nights here
and loved it. Our hotel was a little bit off the tourist track, which we
like, and we were surrounded by local markets and food stalls.
Our first night we walked around the streets
surrounding the hotel and after venturing down a tiny street filled with
locals and food stalls we decided to try the local Satay and Pancakes, as
this seemed to be what almost everyone was eating. We prayed that we were
not ordering Dog-meat Satays, as nobody spoke a word of English, luckily
when we tasted them they were beef, or so we convinced ourselves! Either
way they tasted good! The pancakes were also delicious, filled with
several different types of gunk, one of which was Coriander and another
Chilli, but apart from that we have no idea what else!
On the way back we passed a little stall selling DVDs
and for less than a pound managed to buy Mission Impossible III, Firewall
and Final Destination III. Even better was the fact that they were in
English and good quality! Just a shame we can't bring them home, unless
anyone else wants to pay the potential fine?
One afternoon, after wandering around the ancient
streets of Shanghai we decided to stop and have a beer. But first, I must
mention crossing the road in Shanghai. In Shanghai you don't cross the
road until the traffic assistant blows their whistle and tells you to! We
saw several people, stopped by the police, fined and have their details
taken for jay-walking! The traffic assistants are power-crazed and
fanatical with their whistles! Anyway, after walking out of one bar in
disgust, as it only served German beer, we found a nice little wine bar
that happened to serve Malbec, our favourite red from Argentina! A little
hypocritical I know as we walked out of the German bar, but the temptation
was too great. Anyway, two bottles of Malbec later we stumbled back to
our hotel and decided the satay and pancakes were the easiest option again
that evening! Although we did seem to buy considerably more being under
the influence!
From our hotel Yu Gardens, "yu" meaning "peace and
health" was a fifteen minute walk through some bustling residential
streets, walking through these winding streets it was easy to see where
the expression "Chinese laundry" comes from! They hang clothes out to dry
in places that you can't see how they get to! In the heart of Shanghai
old town, Yu Garden and Shanghai Old Street are total opposites, with the
Gardens being a calm, peaceful haven in the middle of the hustle and
bustle of the market streets and shops. After we had strolled around the
market a bit longer and visited the City God Temple of Shanghai, we went
for tea at Huxingting Chashi, in the middle of Nine Bend Bridge over
a lake. Huxingting meaning, "Mid-lake pavilion" became a tea-house in
1856 and even the Queen has sipped on a cuppa here, apparently we sat at
the same table, but I bet they tell all the Brits that, although he did
show us the photo! The tea comes in clear pots, which initially look like
they have a ball of leaves in the bottom. As the tea "brews" the leaves
unfold to reveal the flower inside. Our favourite was the Jasmine tea,
the traditional green tea was also nice, but extremely strong to start
with.
That night we seemed to slip back in to South America
again, although Brazil this time and one of the churrascarias-style Steak
Houses! Hey we loved it so much we went back a couple of nights later
again! You can't eat Duck Wing and Web-foot with Noodles, Boiled Duck
Blood Soup, Double Boiled Pig's Haslet and Blood with Rice and Broiled
Pig's Large Intestine all the time now can you!
We took a cruise on the Huangpu River which is meant to
be a "must-do" thing here. It was ok, but walking along the "Bund"
meaning Muddy embankment, although it is now a waterfront boulevard, was
far more fun. Every few yards or so you had to turn down people who
wanted to take your photo with the Oriental Pearl Tower in the background,
even though it was too misty to see, or sell you a "Rolex!" We visited
the former HSBC Building, which is what it is known as, now owned by
Pudong Development Bank, I'm sure they must be thrilled with such
advertising! The ceiling however is really something special. In 1923
when it was built, this building was the second largest bank building in
the world. In 1950 the communists took it over as their headquarters and
decided the extravagant ceiling was too much for them so they painted it
white! In 1997 it was rediscovered and restored to its former glory
showing off the twelve signs of the zodiac around a huge sun and all the
branches of HSBC in 1923. London, Paris, New York, Bangkok, Tokyo,
Calcutta, Hong Kong and Shanghai.
On the east side of the river we ascended the Oriental
Pearl Tower to the 350 metre high Space Module, which gave a pretty
awesome view of Shanghai. At 468 metres tall it is the highest tower in
Asia.
Our final night we went to Jin Mao Tower, a 420.5m high
building with 88 floors, the fifth highest building in the world. The
first two floors are the lobby, from the third floor to the fiftieth
floor are office blocks. The next two floors are used for all
the mechanical and electronic equipment. Then from the fifty-third floor
to the eighty-seventh floor is the highest hotel of the world, the Grand
Hyatt Hotel. The Cloud 9 Bar, where we had to spend a minimum of twenty
quid just to get in, is on the eighty-eighth floor and is the highest bar
in the world.
When we left Shanghai to go to Xi'an we took the
"Maglev" (Magnetic Levitation) Train to the airport. This is the world's
fastest train, travelling at 431 kilometres per hour. We covered the
thirty kilometre journey in just eight minutes! It didn't feel that fast
until we ran alongside the motorway and passed cars doing one hundred
kilometres per hour, like they were parked! |